- The Duchess and the Pig She walked through the wood and soon she came to another little house. “I wonder who lives here,” Alice thought. Someone in a sort of uniform ran out of the wood and knocked at the door. He looked like a fish and had a big letter in his hand. A frog man opened the door. He had another sort of uniform. The fish-man gave* the frog-man the huge letter. "This is for the Duchess,” he said. “It's an invitation from the Queen to play croquet.” Then the fish-man walked away, and the frog-man sat on the front steps. Alice went up to the door and knocked. "Why are you knocking?” asked the frog-man. “I can't let you in, because I’m outside. Anyway, no- one can hear you knocking." He was right. There was a terrible noise coming from inside the house. Alice heard screams, sneezes, and loud crashes. "Well, how can I get in?" asked Alice. “Why don’t you open the door?” asked the frog-man. Alice opened the door and went into the house. She was in a large kitchen. In the middle of the kitchen was the Duchess, with a noisy baby. There was a cook near the fire with a huge pot of soup. The air was full of pepper. Alice sneezed. There was a large cat near the fire. It smiled at Alice. "Why is your cat smiling?” Alice asked the Duchess. The Duchess sneezed. "It’s a Cheshire Cat,” she said. Then she shouted "Pig!” "Excuse me?” said Alice. “I'm talking to the baby,” said the Duchess. “Well, that’s not a nice thing to say!” said Alice. "Mind your own business!" shouted the Duchess. "Cook! Cut off her head!” Alice was scared, but the cook didn’t listen to the Duchess. "Here! Take the baby!" said the Duchess, and she gave the baby to Alice. “I must get ready for croquet with the Queen!" The Duchess went to get ready for croquet, and Alice took the baby outside. "That’s not a good place for a baby to live," she said. She looked at the baby. It looked like a little pig. It made a noise like a pig, too. "You ARE a pig!” said Alice to the baby. She put it on the ground and it walked away into the wood. "Where am I now?” thought Alice.